ColossalCon East

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Kalahari Resorts Poconos
250 Kalahari Blvd
Pocono Manor, PA 18349
September 13 - September 15 | Table Cost:

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CCE is the true Bees Knees
Now, I heard the stories...the myths of ColossalCon, that its a godly con with the smolest AA in the 3 Kingdoms. But if you manage to get into the AA, you will sell a whole buttcheek of product. Its a damn good AA, so good that the bitch has a PERCENTAGE OF SUCCESS depending on where you are on the waitlist. That wouldn't be possible if everyone wasn't trying to get in and it would be possible if the con/AA was sweaty balls bad. Also it was on the same month and days of 2018's Keystone Comic Con, which is affectionately called my '3 days in actual hell. Sponsored by Wayfair, you got what i need.' Needless to say, I was concerned.

Now I know ColossalCon has a rep for being a cosplay/party con, scattered ass as far as the eye can see. I've seen enough flesh at cons that it doesn't phase me. Still the attendance and support it has is tremendous, the staff i encountered were polite and active, they badge checked like a mofo, lord I don't want to meet someone coming into this con without a badge. That's a great thing because they will keep the con relatively safe. I appreciate it too.

Generally, I'm skeptical with Legendary AAs, CCE is a relative new con in the ColossalCon family. But it also has a rep for being pretty amazing however what's a great con for one doesn't necessarily translate the same result for other pumpkins. I was worried, I was hopeful, my cheeks were clenched, I just want to sell my fine dwarven crafts. i had no expectations because that's how you become boo boo the fool.

HOLY FCUK. IT WAS RAD.

Firstly, the Poconos is very lovely, I love the mountains, it feels like you're going into Silent Hill or Twilight, one way or the other you're in for a bad time surrounded by trees.

The Poconos is like Mordor, you need two Hobbits, the One Ring and Annie Lennox to get you there, preferably by a car or a Black Chocobo. The closest airports are Newark and then you have like...and 1hr and change via Lyft/Uber there. The most cost efficient is Le Bus aka Greyhound but depending on your patience it can take up to 12+ hours.

Let me tell you fam, its worth it, just watch Avengers Endgame on repeat and you'll be in the Poconos in no time.

The Kalahari is delightfully jungle themed and somewhat garish (not bad its just a themed resorts usually are garish and i fucking love them!) I get greeted by the AA head at the load in and she gleefully leads me through the VERY short trek to the AA. I was like this small room was the AA, about 20 tables and I was like. HOLY FUCK. CCE AA is the smolest AA I have ever been in and I've been in One Day cons with more tables.

Statistically this is a boss ass move, you virtually CANNOT not make money, like you'd had to come to this con with no stock, just you and Jesus at the table handing out cheerio box tops. And even THEN, you can at least clear a cool 50 bucks.

Because the specialized AA is so small meant that there was enough room to set up, the AA head just wanted to make sure your shit was not blocking the walkway because she knew that it was going to be Helms Deep, she heard the drums in the distance and knew blood will be spilled this night. My black ass didn't, I was just a potato setting up my display trying to be pretty with anime tiddies. The artists there were delightful too, different artists, different displays, no issues, I generally try to look around but once the doors opened at 1pm. Bitch was locked in place. If death was coming for me then let her come, my glasses are Gucci.

I was swamped all weekend. ALL. DAMN. WEEKEND. People found me, THEY SOUGHT ME OUT AND MY WIG AND MY EDGES. COMING FOR MY GANON, MY VLD, MY FAT NEZUKO PILLOWS. IF I DIDN'T WEAR MY HOODIE. THEY WOULD'VE TAKEN MY WHOLE COLOUR SWATCH (copic marker colour-E23)

Customers were nice and friendly, hungry for dick, it was like college again, some were very drunk (adorable, soon i would join them), the AA staff/head roamed the tiny room like a mama tiger ready to pounce on anyone trying to start shit. Checking on us so we didn't die. Saturday I caught the Geostigma and became a puddle of sick, The AA head was like NOOOOO and made sure i had water so i didn't pass out.

This is the first con where I had not ONE anti, weird pervert, booth barnacle...Titanic was called the ship of Dreams ya'll.

The only time i could go to a non AA event was the 18+ Hentai dub panel which was hilarious and fun. It was 1am but look, i'll turn up for terrible porn ya'll.

Several customers demanded that I return, demanded that I go to ColossalCon, Katsucon, Your Mama and her Five Cousins Con and i wish i had enough Goats to sacrifice to go to all these cons but I'm a humble merchant beholden to the Con Gods of Fortune. But if you think i would not suck all of the dicks of the 1995 Miami Dolphins, their coach, their waterboy, the guy that sells shirts outside to get into CCE again next year you'd be wrong. Gag reflex be damned, I'd go full ahegao. I'm ready to risk it all.

This is usually the section where i discuss faults with the Con and AA, honestly there's none, the tables were 6ft for a reason, you had more space to work with and kept the room from becoming too crowded. Check in was easy, load out was easy, no rude staff, no confusion. Basically it was 3 things- Come, Adapt, Survive. I called upon the power of Mars and fucking did it, I also got drunk off the massive Kalahari drinks and 3 bottles of Nyquil so I transcended time and space.

I will say this, if you do manage to get into CCE/CC/Knights of the Round. Bring everything you have. Come with your A Game, believe in yourself and the Heart of the Cards. Also have a helper. You'll need it. I did it on my own, I was living on the edge of tomorrow.

Alot of Con AAs could learn from CCE, you don't need a big AA, just a small one that's specialized. It's hard to get in for this reason but it allows everyone to succeed. The DR is just as small too. If the Con Gods smile upon you for this con, show up. SHOW THE FUCK UP.


CCE is Perfection
September 21, 2019, 3:40 pm
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